Marriage is fun... Ya right!

Dear Raawan Uncle

Jai Shri Raawan

With your blessings and well wishes we (me and my missus) celebrated our 10^th marriage anniversary, last week. Some how my friends were happier than I was, probably because of the alcohol flowing freely on the bar table. These 10 years were more better than worse, more sweeter than sour. We tried our best to stay together and have fun and everybody around us acknowledged that by drinking to the hilt.

Uncle, with this letter I want you to understand the psyche of a modern day husband. Of course while you were married to Mandodari aunty you would have had your set of problems. But in those days at least saas bahu soap operas were not there. So embrace yourself to enter into the mind of a today’s married man. The following incidences are the feedbacks given to me by intellectual husbands, and I am generalizing the whole institution of marriage with this. I thought it would be only wise to raise a voice of concern for all my brethren.

Marriage is fun, that’s interesting as it is but harsh realities of life makes it simply impossible to believe. Couples married for a long time, I think are just growing together for the sake of it. For a woman it may be a satisfaction of being looked after or rather looked at by somebody, but for a man it’s to look after and look into every matter in detail, it’s certainly different.

For the first few months sex blinds and binds as well. Half of the married population gets pregnant around this period only. Rest takes their time to stroll around and learn from other’s mistake. That’s a wise decision to take but then it would happen sometime later and also you will have to wipe those cute little bums of your baby some day. Men don’t even realize at this point that their personal hanger had been invaded. For one the wardrobe which used to be full of dull shades of blue, black, green and brown looks like a riot of colors now. I would like to update you that there are like 18 shades of every color available in the market. I for once thought I was color blind all my bachelor life. And for second your bathroom now consists of 287 toiletries, out of which, you can not even spell half of them right. One of my friends was ordered by his wife to use a cream to soften his skin. Tauba, tauba… that’s horrible. Its like making Marsian to speak Venusian. But its still fun.

When you get out of the initial hibernation then only you realize what you have gotten yourself into. The war fare starts with smaller arguments. The ego takes the front and your dreams back seat. Your-parents-my-parents phenomenon takes its toll on this relationship. But its still fun.

Your mother in law has a major role in your life. She is more important than a condom actually. She is omnipresent, really almost like a god. She is the best woman on the face of earth. Sometimes you think you should have got married to her as well. But I guess you are already married to her as you are married to her daughter. She is going to be there for the rest of your life, well, between you two.

The day in day out guerilla war starts at this time. You like the company of your friends, and she wants to go to her mother’s place. The interference of your in-laws increases by the day. Your mother in law knows what you had for dinner, even though you were dead drunk to know it your self. She teaches her daughter all the god forsaken recipes of nuclear waste over the cellular phone, and eventually you get to eat that and pay the bills too. Your father in law is the only sane guy who knows where to put your money.

Your parents are sworn enemies of your wife. They seem to have developed a phenomenon, not to like any thing that your wife does. Suddenly they started to dislike spicy food and your wife cooks everything hot. They don’t like your wife’s taste of colors and she hates their taste of food. Eventually it becomes your battle and you resolve to; if you are going to do this to my parents I will do that with your parents. That actually diffuses the situation and you start living a calmer life, as a loner. The kid grows as a brat and you as a drunkard. It’s still fun.

Every woman wants her husband to be like her father, but he is like his father. Every man wants his wife to be like his mother, but she is her mother’s daughter. Expectation breeds contempt. That’s my take on the subject.

Rest, you can update me on the subject as you are married to Mandodari aunty for a long time.

Waiting for your words of Raawanism.

Raawanistically yours

Chota Raawan